Lie or Truth?

Tell lies & truthful statements.  Have them distinguish if you are lying or telling the truth.  This is great to use with young children who need help recognizing a lie from the truth. Then, make an honesty cost & reward jot chart.

What are some rewards for telling the truth? good reputation, good conscience, obeying God, peace of mind, etc.

What are some costs for telling a lie? worry about getting caught, bigger punishment, hurts other people, not trusted, may lie mre, compounds your sin, etc.

Make a list together. Go back to the list before a child is asked to tell the truth to serve as a reminder.

It's Caught & It's Taught---Honesty

It’s Caught!

The world lives & breathes with lies.  They lie to themselves. They lie to each other.  They especially lie if it gets them something they want or keeps them out of trouble. Unfortunately, our children are made with the same tendencies. “Benjamin, who broke the lamp in the living room?” “Not me!”

Teaching truthfulness means to go against the grain; to go against your child’s instincts. “Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies.” Psalms 58:3 (NIV)

Benjamin lied about not breaking the lamp because he feared punishment.  He was protecting himself! Some adults do the same thing.

“Is everything ok, Honey?” You say “Yes, dear!” as you grumble & storm away! Of course he should know that you are mad that he failed to hang up his wet towel AGAIN! You storm around for 2 days until you finally lambaste your husband with all of your irritations all-the-while he has had no clue that you were upset about anything.

Or perhaps your wife has just come home from a shopping trip.  She was picking out a new dress to wear to your employer’s Christmas party. “What do you think, Dear?”  You say “It looks great!” even though you hate the color, wish it was a little less revealing, & think it is way over budget.  You keep your comments to yourself because you don’t want to deal with a possible argument.  Later, at the party you get irritated when other men notice the way her dress fits too!

 “God, help me to be a person of truth, grounded in your truth.  Help me to stand on your truth when the world around me denies you and your truth.  May I defeat the lies of the enemy with truth and may truth always come from my lips.” –Pastor John Blodgett (from his series on Spiritual Warfare at First Baptist Church of Elkhart in July 2010)  

Honesty should be a part of how you deal with anyone from your spouse, to your children, to your friends & especially unbelievers!  Since the world feeds lies, as does Satan, you should be representing God as a truthful God.  Remember that the church is the guardian of truth (I Timothy 3:15).

Let me go just a little farther with honesty.  God’s Word is truth (John 17:17)!  I am sure you agree! Of course you know His Word is also powerful.  In fact, I Timothy 3:16 & 17 says that “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” We are made complete by the Word of God. It is powerful to do all of these things because it is truth! Honesty is not just refraining from lies, but is using God’s Truth in everything we do! What I mean is that you should be revealing or making known what God has said.

Let’s say that your child is gossiping (another thing that is often untruthful) about a friend to another one of his/her friends.  You overhear the conversation.  What should you do?  If you are rooted in truth, you can use the sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, so that God can make your child more complete & equipped for every good work. Allow the truth of Proverbs 18:7 & 8, which says “The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips. Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart,” to work in your child’s life! If you have already learned or explained the verse to your child, that’s great!  If not, take the time to talk about it.  Don’t be afraid to even explain it in front of the other child either!  Remember, who your child associates with will influence them greatly, so any influence you can have on them will benefit your child too! 

Don’t be surprised if you are also held to this standard by your child.  BE CAREFUL!!  Remember that God’s Word is doing the work, not the person sharing it.  Allowing your child to do this can sometimes become a respect issue though.  I would suggest that you evaluate the maturity & age of the child before giving permission for this to occur. If you do allow this, they need to know that they can come to you, but must do it in an honoring way.  When it is child to parent, this should be done in private & you might need to help them learn how to say it in a loving way. 

When we are honest to those around us & allow God’s truth to permeate all that we do, we will show our children that God’s Word is the living word that works in us & through us.  Remember IT’S CAUGHT & TAUGHT!!  Let’s take a look at how we might also teach honesty to our children.

It’s Taught!

Let’s go back to the case where Benjamin just broke the lamp in the living room. Before I talk about what has just happened, this is what I would have done:

1) QUOTE SCRIPTURE!

“The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” Proverbs 12:22 (NIV)

2) TEACH!

“Benjamin, before we talk about this I want to remind you that lying is sin. God detest or hates lying & so do I.  I expect you to be truthful in what I am about to ask you.  You will get into more trouble if you are not truthful with me. Do you understand?”

I would then begin to ask detailed questions about what happened. “I see that the lamp is broken. Were you kicking the soccer ball in the living room? Did you knock it over?”

In most cases you will not be totally sure what all the truth is, so make sure to listen to what your child says.  If you have an idea of what happened & it seems that they are lying, use the facts of what you see to explain what it looks like happened. “It seems that you were playing with your soccer ball in the living room & your you accidentally kicked the ball into the lamp. I see your ball has some broken pieces on it.”

At that point, if Ben still denies that he knocked over the lamp, ask if he is lying. In this case, it is pretty clear that Ben knocked over the lamp.  I would punish him for kicking his soccer ball in the living room which is not accepted in our house & he would receive another, more severe, punishment for lying. 

However, if I could not pinpoint exactly what happened & Ben denies his involvement, I would handle it differently.  I would tell him “it seems that you might have broken the lamp, but God knows if you are lying. Let’s quote Proverbs 12:22 together…Are you lying to me?...Ok.  I am not going to punish you because I expect you to be honest with me. If you change your mind on what happened, you need to come talk to me!”

3) PRAY!

Ben let’s pray about this together.  Let’s ask God to help us to speak the truth in all circumstances.  You also need to ask God for forgiveness for lying.

November's virtue: Honesty

DEFINTION: choosing to tell the truth in words & actions

MEMORY VERSE: "The Lord detests (hates) lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful." Proverbs 12:22 (NIV) 

CONNECTION: wear a belt (regular belt buckle or seat belt) to remind us to "put on" & use God's truth

    (a connection is a visual reminder of the virtue)



http://www.sugardoodle.net/sdclipart/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/august08_20.jpg



SYNONYMS: sincere, truthful, open, direct, straightforward, genuine

God will judge according to His Truth:  “they will sing before the LORD, for he comes, he comes to judge the earth. He will judge the world in righteousness and the peoples in his truth.” Psalms 96:13 (NIV)

“But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things.” Romans 2:2 (KJV)

God’s Word is Truth:

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17 (NIV)

God wants us to speak truth:



“These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other, and render true and sound judgment in your courts” Zechariah 8:16 (NIV)

“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” Ephesians 4:15 (NLT)

“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” Ephesians 4:25 (ESV)

“He whose walk is blameless and who does what is righteous, who speaks the truth from his heart” Psalms 15:2 (NIV)

“But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath. But let your “Yes” be “Yes,” and your “No,” “No,” lest you fall into judgment.” James 5:12 (NKJV)

God wants us to think truthful thoughts:

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)

Telling the truth shows love:

“Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” I John 3:18 (NIV)

The Holy Spirit is Truth:

“When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.” John 16:13 (ESV)

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.” John 14:16, 17 (NASB)

Jesus is truth:

“Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  John 14:6 (NIV)

Jesus came to speak truth:

“Jesus answered, "You are right in saying I am a king. In fact, for this reason I was born, and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone on the side of truth listens to me." John 18:37b (NIV)

The Church is the guardian of truth:

“so that if I am delayed, you will know how people must conduct themselves in the household of God. This is the church of the living God, which is the pillar and foundation of the truth.” I Timothy 3:15 (NLT)

God expects us to be rooted in truth:

“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.”  Psalms 51:6 (NIV)

Leaders should be honest:

“For kings, and all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.” I Timothy 2:2 (KJV)

ANTONYMS: untruthful, dishonest, lies, fabrication, deception

Changing the story of how something happened is a lie:

“A truthful witness gives honest testimony, but a false witness tells lies.” Proverbs 12:17 (NIV)

“A truthful witness does not deceive, but a false witness pours out lies.” Proverbs 14:5 (NIV)

God hates Lying:

“The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” Proverbs 12:22 (NIV)

“Do not steal. Do not lie. Do not deceive one another. Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:11-12 (NIV)

God can not lie:

“in the hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised long ages ago,”  Titus 1:2 (NASB)

Lying makes company with other sins:

“Friend deceives friend, and no one speaks the truth. They have taught their tongues to lie; they weary themselves with sinning.” Jeremiah 9:5 (NIV)

"They make ready their tongue like a bow, to shoot lies; it is not by truth that they triumph in the land. They go from one sin to another; they do not acknowledge me," declares the LORD.” Jeremiah 9:3 (NIV)

“But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” Revelation 21:8 (NKJV)

The Devil is a liar:

“You are of your father the devil, and you want to do the desires of your father. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44 (NASB)

BIBLE STORIES/LESSONS

+  Adam & Eve (Genesis 3:1-19)—the serpent lied to Eve & led her to sin; this caused the fall of all mankind; this necessitated redemption by Christ; honesty is the only policy

+  Abram lies about Sarai (Genesis 12:11-19; 20:2-18)—lying diminishes the character of a great man

+  Joseph’s brother’s lie to Jacob (Genesis 37; 45)—When you’re not truthful, you hurt the people you should care about the most

+  Haman’s plot (Esther 3; 4:8; 5:6-10; 7:1-6,9-10)—Lying to hurt someone else really hurts YOU

+  David lies about Bathsheba (II Samuel 11-12)—lying led to murder; he was punished with the death of his son

+  Judas’ dishonesty (Matthew 26; 27:1-5 & John 12:3-6)—You can lie so much you forget what really matters

+  Jesus & Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10)—truthfulness builds friendships; dishonesty tears them down

+  The Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18)—belt of truth

Optional definitions for Honesty
 -telling the WHOLE truth
 -being straightforward with your words
 -telling the truth in LOVE