Instilling Humility in Children article

"A truly humble person knows he's great,

but he recognizes God as the source of his greatness."

Read this great article on "Instilling Humility in Children" by Sarah Chana Radcliffe, M. Ed.

Sarah gives some great examples, ideas and tools for teaching your children respect! She also gives a five-step approach to teaching humility...TEACH, REMIND, PROMPT, BLOCK and DISCIPLINE.

Check it out!

"Don't equate humility with weakness. The truly humble person is the strongest of all,

as the example of Moses aptly demonstrates."

April's Theme: Humility

DEFINTION: giving up what you want by putting others first

MEMORY VERSE: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3 

CONNECTION: use a first place medal or medal stands to show "Who's takes FIRST place?".  Label the stands as "God on top", "Others come next.", and "I take last."

    (a connection is a visual reminder of the virtue)

SYNONYMS: meeknesss, selflessness, lowliness, back seat

Christ is Humble

“By the humility and gentleness of Christ, I appeal to you—I, Paul, who am “timid” when face to face with you, but “bold” toward you when away!” II Corinthians 10:1 (NIV)

“so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” John 13:4-5 (NIV)

““Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”” Luke 22:39 (NIV)

Believers should show Humility

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:1-3 (ESV)

Humbleness leads to repentence

“if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” II Chronicles 7:14 (ESV)

Leaders should lead with Humility:

“In your majesty ride forth victoriously in the cause of truth, humility and justice; let your right hand achieve awesome deeds.” Psalm 45:4 (NIV)

Humility focuses on Others

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12 (NIV)

God wants us to be Humble and submit to Authority

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” I Peter 5:5 (NIV)

Humility produces Honor and Wisdom

“Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 15:33 (NIV)

“Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 18:12 (NIV)

“Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.” James 3:13 (NIV)

Humility also means to Fear the Lord

“Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life.” Proverbs 22:4 (NIV)

“because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before God when you heard his words against this place and its inhabitants, and you have humbled yourself before me and have torn your clothes and wept before me, I also have heard you, declares the LORD.” II Chronicles 34:27 (ESV)

Obedience requires being humble

“So Moses and Aaron went in to Pharaoh and said to him, "Thus says the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, 'How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, that they may serve me.” Exodus 10:3 (ESV)

Humbling circumstances are for our good

“who fed you in the wilderness with manna that your fathers did not know, that he might humble you and test you, to do you good in the end.” Deuteronomy 8:16 (ESV)

Fasting is an act of humility

“Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God, to seek from him a safe journey for ourselves, our children, and all our goods.” Ezra 8:21(ESV)

“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Matthew 6:16-18 (NIV)

ANTONYMS: selfish, prideful, pompous, self-centered, egotistical

Pride does not come from God

“For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.” I John 2:16 (NLT)

Prideful men do not seek God

“In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” Psalm 10:4 (NIV)

God hates pride

“The Sovereign LORD has sworn by himself—the LORD God Almighty declares: “I abhor the pride of Jacob and detest his fortresses; I will deliver up the city and everything in it.”” Amos 6:8 (NIV)

God punishes the Proud

“I will punish the world for its evil, the wicked for their sins. I will put an end to the arrogance of the haughty and will humble the pride of the ruthless.” Isaiah 13:11 (NIV)

“If you do not listen, I will weep in secret because of your pride; my eyes will weep bitterly, overflowing with tears, because the LORD’s flock will be taken captive.” Jeremiah 13:17 (NIV)

“If you are proud, you will be destroyed. If you are proud, you will fall.” Proverbs 16:18 (NIrV)

“But when his heart became arrogant and hardened with pride, he was deposed from his royal throne and stripped of his glory.” Daniel 5:20 (NIV)

“If they confess their iniquity and the iniquity of their forefathers, in their unfaithfulness which they committed against Me, and also in their acting with hostility against Me--I also was acting with hostility against them, to bring them into the land of their enemies--or if their uncircumcised heart becomes humbled so that they then make amends for their iniquity, then I will remember My covenant with Jacob, and I will remember also My covenant with Isaac, and My covenant with Abraham as well, and I will remember the land.” Leviticus 26:40-42 (NASB)

“And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not. And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.” Deuteronomy 8:2-3 (ESV)

Pride deceives us

“The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say to yourself, ‘Who can bring me down to the ground?’” Obadiah 1:3 (NIV)

Pride produces disgrace/shame

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 11:2 (NIV)

“Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.” Proverbs 29:23 (NIV)

“A man who brags will be brought low. Men who are proud will be put to shame. The Lord alone will be honored at that time.” Isaiah 2:17 (NIrV)

“Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and exalt and glorify the King of heaven, because everything he does is right and all his ways are just. And those who walk in pride he is able to humble.” Daniel 4:37 (NIV)

Pride needs to be confessed

“Then Hezekiah repented of the pride of his heart, as did the people of Jerusalem; therefore the LORD’s wrath did not come on them during the days of Hezekiah.” II Chronicles 32:26 (NIV)

Pride produces lying lips

“Let their lying lips be silenced, for with pride and contempt they speak arrogantly against the righteous.” Psalm 31:18 (NIV)

“For the sins of their mouths, for the words of their lips, let them be caught in their pride. For the curses and lies they utter,” Psalm 59:12 (NIV)

Pride produces violent behavior

“My adversaries pursue me all day long; in their pride many are attacking me.” Psalm 56:2 (NIV)

“Therefore pride is their necklace; they clothe themselves with violence.” Psalm 73:6 (NIV)

Pride leads to arguing

“Pride only leads to arguing. But those who take advice are wise.” Proverbs 13:10 (NIrV)

Unbelievers are selfish

“The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21 (NIV)

Selfishness leads to fighting

“An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.” Proverbs 18:1 (NIV)

“For I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior.” II Corinthians 12:20 (NLT)

Selfishness produces other sins

“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” James 3:16 (NIV)

Exploring Your Gifts

+  Make a Uniqueness List. Make a list of talents and spiritual gifts that God has given each one of you. Using a highlighter, highlight the gifts that you feel are the strongest. Discuss ways that you can use those gifts to serve others and bring glory to God.

+  Spiritual Gift Boxes.  Discuss all of the different spiritual gifts: teaching, leadership, service, hospitality, intercession (prayer), mercy (compassion), encouragement, prophecy (speak boldly about what you believe), and generosity (giving). God wants you to discover and use the gifts He has given you. Decorate a box with different pictures or drawings of things God has gifted each one of you.  Discuss how you can use those gifts and talents for God’s glory.

+  Body Outline Using large paper, trace each one of you.  Decorate the head to look like yourself.  Decorate the body showing special qualities that you have been given by God. (ie: holding an instrument, kicking a soccer ball)

Writing About Your Uniqueness

+  Complete the Sentences...

People say that I am___.

My family thinks I am___.

I think I’m different because___.

I can see that one day God may use me to___. 

I don’t like being___.

But I love being___.

Share your answers with one another.

+  Caterpillars are Meant to Fly  Discuss the process by which the caterpillar turns into a butterfly.  Discuss how God is completing a work in us.  As we grow, God continues to teach us and grow us in areas before He shows us our finished project.  You may not know why you are good at drawing pictures or teaching others until one day He shows you that He wants you to be an illustrator or Christian school teacher.  We have to look for our gifts and take the opportunities to grow our gifts so He can use them in our future. Sometimes that also takes embracing that He made us different from others.  Write about how God might use your gifts in the future.

Bug Object Lessons for Uniqueness

Check out this information on the "10 Most Unique Insects" on the Succeed With Us blog.

Here are some Unique Insects...

Black Bulldog Ant of Australia
"Most Dangerous Ant"

Desert Locust
"Most Destructive"

Goliath Beetle
"Heaviest"

Giant Stick Insect
"Longest"

Sunset Moth of Madagascar
"Most Beautiful"

Thorn Bug
"Weirdest shape"



And of course just some beautiful favorites:
Orange Stink Bug
Leaf bug
Preying Mantis
Tiger Moth
Virgin Tiger Moth
Wild Cherry Sphinx Moth

 

Bugs Teach us Uniqueness

Man has only discovered about 900,000 different kinds of living insects.  Most bug experts think there are way more than that that haven't even been discovered.

thorn bug

Here is what the Department of Systematic Biology, Entomology Section, of the Smithsonian Institution states on their Bug Info page:

"It has long been recognized and documented that insects are the most diverse group of organisms, meaning that the numbers of species of insects are more than any other group. In the world, some 900 thousand different kinds of living insects are known. This representation approximates 80 percent of the world's species. The true figure of living species of insects can only be estimated from present and past studies. Most authorities agree that there are more insect species that have not been described (named by science) than there are insect species that have been previously named. Conservative estimates suggest that this figure is 2 million, but estimates extend to 30 million. In the last decade, much attention has been given to the entomofauna that exists in the canopies of tropical forests of the world. From studies conducted by Terry Erwin of the Smithsonian Institution's Department of Entomology in Latin American forest canopies, the number of living species of insects has been estimated to be 30 million. Insects also probably have the largest biomass of the terrestrial animals. At any time, it is estimated that there are some 10 quintillion (10,000,000,000,000,000,000) individual insects alive."

background by vladstudio

Did you count all of those zeros?  That's 19 zeros!  There could be over 10 quintillion individual bugs walking around; each one created by our Awesome Creator. I'd say that that is a whole lof of Uniqueness!

God is infinitely creative, but His creativity doesn't stop with bugs!  Take a look at people around you! You know who did that?  God did! 

background by vladstudio

The more we discover about other people, the more our Uniqueness becomes evident and stands out to us.  It's so important to embrace the qualities or GIFTS He has given you and USE them for His glory.  Bugs are a great way to show kids that there is purpose in the way God creates things.  Some things that may seem to be differences that are ugly or unwanted, are really things that help or protect each species.  This can lead into a great conversation about self-worth and accepting all of the ways God made each one of us.

March's Virtue: Uniqueness

background by vectorjunky.com

DEFINTION: looking for the gifts in others shows us more about ourselves

MEMORY VERSE: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:14

CONNECTION: bugs to show how unique our God created our world and us

    (a connection is a visual reminder of the virtue)

background from vladstudio

SYNONYMS: one-of-a-kind, special, different, distinctive, individuality, rare, extraordinary

God is unique:

“But He is unique and who can turn Him? And what His soul desires, that He does.” Job 23:13 (NASB)

Jesus is unique:

 “For the law was given through Moses, but God’s unfailing love and faithfulness came through Jesus Christ. No one has ever seen God.  But the unique One, who is himself God, is near to the Father’s heart.  He has revealed God to us.” John 1:17-18 (NLT)

God made each man unique:

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 (NIV)

God gives us special gifts & talents:

“We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.  If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith.” Romans 12:6 (NIV)

“He is the One who gave some the gift to be apostles.  He gave some the gift to be prophets.  He gave some the gift of preaching the good news. And He gave some the gift to be pastors and teachers.  He did it so that they might prepare God’s people to serve.  If they do, the body of Christ will be built up.” Ephesians 4:11-12 (NIrV)

“There are different kinds of gifts.  But they are all given by the same Spirit.” I Corinthians 12:4 (NIrV)

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 (NIV)

“Moreover, I have appointed Oholiab son of Ahisamak, of the tribe of Dan, to help him.  Also I have given ability to all the skilled workers to make everything I have commanded:” Exodus 31:6 (NIV)

“So Bezalel, Oholiab and every skilled person to whom the LORD has given skill and ability to know how to carry out all the work of constructing the sanctuary are to do the work just as the Lord has commanded.” Exodus 36:1 (NIV)

“He did this because Daniel, whom the king called Belteshazzar, was found to have a keen mind and knowledge and understanding, and also the ability to interpret dreams, explain riddles and solve difficult problems.  Call for Daniel, and he will tell you what the writing means.” Daniel 5:12 (NIV)

God uses our unique abilities to help Believers:

“For just was each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” Romans 12:4-5 (NIV)

“A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other.” I Corinthians 12:7 (NLT)

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

The Day of the Lord is unique:

“On that day there will be neither sunlight nor cold, frosty darkness.  It will be a unique day—a day known only to the LORD—with no distinction between day and night.  When evening comes, there will be light.” Zechariah 14:6-7 (NIV)

background from vladstudio

ANTONYMS: commonness, similar, standard

Don’t hide your uniqueness:

“For am I now seeking approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man?  If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 (ESV)

BIBLE STORIES/LESSONS

+  Deborah (Judges 4:1-24)— The prophetess & judge helps Barak lead the Israelites into battle against Sisera & the Canaanites.

+  Gideon (Judges 6:11-7:22)—The youngest of the weakest family is chosen by God to lead 300 men into battle against the Midianites.  

+  David & Goliath (I Samuel 17)—God uses a small boy named David to defeat the Philistine champion with 5 small stones.

+  John the Baptist (Matthew 3:1-6)—God uses a very unique man to share God’s message.  He lives in the desert, eats bugs & wears animal skins.

Lie or Truth?

Tell lies & truthful statements.  Have them distinguish if you are lying or telling the truth.  This is great to use with young children who need help recognizing a lie from the truth. Then, make an honesty cost & reward jot chart.

What are some rewards for telling the truth? good reputation, good conscience, obeying God, peace of mind, etc.

What are some costs for telling a lie? worry about getting caught, bigger punishment, hurts other people, not trusted, may lie mre, compounds your sin, etc.

Make a list together. Go back to the list before a child is asked to tell the truth to serve as a reminder.

It's Caught & It's Taught---Honesty

It’s Caught!

The world lives & breathes with lies.  They lie to themselves. They lie to each other.  They especially lie if it gets them something they want or keeps them out of trouble. Unfortunately, our children are made with the same tendencies. “Benjamin, who broke the lamp in the living room?” “Not me!”

Teaching truthfulness means to go against the grain; to go against your child’s instincts. “Even from birth the wicked go astray; from the womb they are wayward and speak lies.” Psalms 58:3 (NIV)

Benjamin lied about not breaking the lamp because he feared punishment.  He was protecting himself! Some adults do the same thing.

“Is everything ok, Honey?” You say “Yes, dear!” as you grumble & storm away! Of course he should know that you are mad that he failed to hang up his wet towel AGAIN! You storm around for 2 days until you finally lambaste your husband with all of your irritations all-the-while he has had no clue that you were upset about anything.

Or perhaps your wife has just come home from a shopping trip.  She was picking out a new dress to wear to your employer’s Christmas party. “What do you think, Dear?”  You say “It looks great!” even though you hate the color, wish it was a little less revealing, & think it is way over budget.  You keep your comments to yourself because you don’t want to deal with a possible argument.  Later, at the party you get irritated when other men notice the way her dress fits too!

 “God, help me to be a person of truth, grounded in your truth.  Help me to stand on your truth when the world around me denies you and your truth.  May I defeat the lies of the enemy with truth and may truth always come from my lips.” –Pastor John Blodgett (from his series on Spiritual Warfare at First Baptist Church of Elkhart in July 2010)  

Honesty should be a part of how you deal with anyone from your spouse, to your children, to your friends & especially unbelievers!  Since the world feeds lies, as does Satan, you should be representing God as a truthful God.  Remember that the church is the guardian of truth (I Timothy 3:15).

Let me go just a little farther with honesty.  God’s Word is truth (John 17:17)!  I am sure you agree! Of course you know His Word is also powerful.  In fact, I Timothy 3:16 & 17 says that “all Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.” We are made complete by the Word of God. It is powerful to do all of these things because it is truth! Honesty is not just refraining from lies, but is using God’s Truth in everything we do! What I mean is that you should be revealing or making known what God has said.

Let’s say that your child is gossiping (another thing that is often untruthful) about a friend to another one of his/her friends.  You overhear the conversation.  What should you do?  If you are rooted in truth, you can use the sword of the Spirit, God’s Word, so that God can make your child more complete & equipped for every good work. Allow the truth of Proverbs 18:7 & 8, which says “The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips. Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart,” to work in your child’s life! If you have already learned or explained the verse to your child, that’s great!  If not, take the time to talk about it.  Don’t be afraid to even explain it in front of the other child either!  Remember, who your child associates with will influence them greatly, so any influence you can have on them will benefit your child too! 

Don’t be surprised if you are also held to this standard by your child.  BE CAREFUL!!  Remember that God’s Word is doing the work, not the person sharing it.  Allowing your child to do this can sometimes become a respect issue though.  I would suggest that you evaluate the maturity & age of the child before giving permission for this to occur. If you do allow this, they need to know that they can come to you, but must do it in an honoring way.  When it is child to parent, this should be done in private & you might need to help them learn how to say it in a loving way. 

When we are honest to those around us & allow God’s truth to permeate all that we do, we will show our children that God’s Word is the living word that works in us & through us.  Remember IT’S CAUGHT & TAUGHT!!  Let’s take a look at how we might also teach honesty to our children.

It’s Taught!

Let’s go back to the case where Benjamin just broke the lamp in the living room. Before I talk about what has just happened, this is what I would have done:

1) QUOTE SCRIPTURE!

“The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” Proverbs 12:22 (NIV)

2) TEACH!

“Benjamin, before we talk about this I want to remind you that lying is sin. God detest or hates lying & so do I.  I expect you to be truthful in what I am about to ask you.  You will get into more trouble if you are not truthful with me. Do you understand?”

I would then begin to ask detailed questions about what happened. “I see that the lamp is broken. Were you kicking the soccer ball in the living room? Did you knock it over?”

In most cases you will not be totally sure what all the truth is, so make sure to listen to what your child says.  If you have an idea of what happened & it seems that they are lying, use the facts of what you see to explain what it looks like happened. “It seems that you were playing with your soccer ball in the living room & your you accidentally kicked the ball into the lamp. I see your ball has some broken pieces on it.”

At that point, if Ben still denies that he knocked over the lamp, ask if he is lying. In this case, it is pretty clear that Ben knocked over the lamp.  I would punish him for kicking his soccer ball in the living room which is not accepted in our house & he would receive another, more severe, punishment for lying. 

However, if I could not pinpoint exactly what happened & Ben denies his involvement, I would handle it differently.  I would tell him “it seems that you might have broken the lamp, but God knows if you are lying. Let’s quote Proverbs 12:22 together…Are you lying to me?...Ok.  I am not going to punish you because I expect you to be honest with me. If you change your mind on what happened, you need to come talk to me!”

3) PRAY!

Ben let’s pray about this together.  Let’s ask God to help us to speak the truth in all circumstances.  You also need to ask God for forgiveness for lying.